Tag Archives: April 1

Breaking News: CNA and SEIU to merge

SEIU International, still steaming from the disruption of their organization drive in Ohio, has decided to invite the California Nurses Association to join SEIU.  CNA leader Rose Ann DeMoro seems ready to accept the offer.

“For years, nurses have been really interested in the color purple. Our shade of red is nice, but purple is really the wave of the future. We couldn’t possibly compete with that, so we are thrilled to join Andy Stern and SEIU.

“Some might say that we have had problems in the past, but that was all just for show. Together, our forces will combine to become more powerful than ever.”

Andy Stern will head the new SEIU-CNA local with Ms. DeMoro too take over in DC for the international union. The deal was believed to be brokered by Sal Rosselli, president of SEIU-UHW, over a game of Poker.

“When Ms. DeMoro defeated me, I knew that she would be a wonderful asset to SEIU management. Andy is always complaining that the Kaiser bosses are trying to cheat him during contract negotiations, and it became immediately clear that CNA’s regular poker classes could become a model on how to teach negotiation tactics.”

The three leaders will be holding a joint press conference in Black Rock City, NV to commemorate the event, and to bury any and all disagreements between the leaders.

“Any disagreement is just old news,” Stern said. “The future is exceedingly bright for CNA-SEIU. I’m sure Rose Ann will be a terrific boss for both Sal and myself.”