Those damnable, pesky public employee unions! If it weren’t for them and their cushy, decadent benefits packages, California’s sterling government would surely be nowhere near the level of crushing idiocy that currently pervades the hallowed halls of Sacramento. And now, now those ungrateful teachers and their annoying elitist union have the temerity to continue to take no shit from a district beset by its own rampant corrupt stupidity, and have chosen to express their collective feelings via three hundred middle fingers:

Teachers angry at the Capistrano Unified School District’s proposal to cut their pay by 10% held a rally Saturday to protest the move. The demonstration, which took place near the Mission Viejo Mall, drew more than 300 people, according to organizers of the event. It marked the latest in a series of actions highlighting teachers’ dissatisfaction with contract negotiations and the school board.

Profaning the sanctity of a refurbished mall, fer crissakes! What in blazes is the world coming to? I mean, don’t those whiny punks realize that the district needs to slash $25 million from its 2010/11 budget, to offset such essential expenses as palatial office complexes and ongoing legal fees from an Iran-Iraq war of a recall election?

Not to mention the known costs associated with an irritating parent-teacher initiative that would clobber the budget to the tune of another $500K. The nerve! Where will it end? Isn’t it enough to be mocked in both print and pixel, and slandered to disturbing degrees by long-disgruntled students brimming over with impotent revenge?

Oh yes, regime change had finally come back to Capistrano-just like those pestilential swallows-in the form of an overblown auto de fe by ex-Superintendent James Fleming and his faithful right hand, Associate Superintendent Susan McGill. Theirs was a sordid story of supposed sin that I’d managed to remain completely ignorant of, despite repeated hints dropped by various well-meaning friends and relatives who have worked or currently work for CUSD. It had everything, though-arrogance, intimidation, entitlement, corruption, decadence-including a certain secret ingredient that made it irresistible to me.

What the hell, indeed. Don’t these fools know that you go to class with the pennies you have, and not the millions you wish you had? Tell ’em, Anna:

“These are difficult times for all institutions, not just school districts,” said trustee Anna Bryson. “We have to work with the money that we have, and that keeps getting smaller.”

Like, totally, baby. Don’t take any guff from these overeducated babies. Stomp the buggers. Hire scabs if you have to-hell, you could rescind some of those 6-months-delayed rejection letters we sent out to all those qualified bright young people who grovel at our feet whenever UCI or whatever other school graduates a new class of fresh-faced, credentialed teachers. Yeah, hire those kids at a fraction of the contracted salary. They’ll take it, won’t they?

And for God’s sake, show no mercy on those 300 uppities in Mission Viejo. This is the twenty-first century, hon-unions are dead, and no one gives a shit about their selfish, coddled members anyway. It’s high time that they were cut down to size, just like back in the good old days. What are those Pinkerton gentlemen up to, anyway? Give them a call. We simply cannot have this level of disturbance in a district of this size.

It’s not about us covering our own asses for decades of congenital stupidity. It’s really all about the kids. The teachers have never ever considered their pupils in all this, have they? of course not.  It’s all about them:

Vicki Soderberg, president of the Capistrano Unified Education Assn., which represents some 2,200 teachers, said the proposed salary decrease would be dire. “Asking for a 10% pay cut would throw a lot of our teachers out of their homes and onto the streets,” she said.

Vicki, you cold-hearted snake.  Won’t someone please think of the children?